Anthropologythatbreaksmyheart

Does every gay boy have a "Babylon" in their life? that colourful, laser lit, muscle packed heaven where we can drink away our family or financial blues, as we get or give blow jobs in the backroom or the toilet, still dreaming of prince charming….

I have a "Babylon" in my life, on the corner of West Market right next to the Highland theater. It was the most happening bar in Akron in the late 1990’s, most of all it was my community here. From the bartenders to the owner and us dedicated patrons we did brunches, and after hours, fucked each other, buried our friends from drug overdose, sucked off the strippers, drank ourselves to dawn. We were a bunch of 20 somethings beleiving in our own bodies invincibility.

I am back after eight years of cosmopoliton glory in New York. In a way nothing has changed but everything has changed in this town. People have died, grown obese, become sober, gave up dreams of social change and became bankers in suits…What hasn’t changed is our friendships, and the fact that I will always be the "brown David" in this town. I have always looked beneathe their inability to pronounce my name. What matters to me is when my rich family threw me out, these "poor uneducated white boys" took me in and taught me street survival tricks.

Well they have moved beyond the streets, some have given up hope in life, some have turned themselves around. And I..the NYC queer Diva gone wrong, rebuilding after debilitating struggles with immigration, HIV and Miss Tina Turner.

We decided to meet up in this hole in the wall bar called Tearez last night. Ironically the queer rag in town decided to do a 1998 photographic special. There we were smiling with hope and the zeal to conquer the town, and now here we are. One sober banker, one broke diva, one hot aging bartender who came back from Daytona to take care of his dying mother. Eliot kisses me on my lips and says I have always loved you girl, and am glad we got out of drugs. His Randy Harrison look alike boyfriend sits with us as we recount our "Babylon days". "I wonder if we can convince the new owners of what was Babylon to run it like Babylon for a night" Oh gee I would kill for one night of those old days.

But times change and so have we. Where next my loved ones? there is a lot of past mysteries to put to rest here before I can move on.

Last night after 11yrs of being away from the home I grew up in, for the first time in this alien land I felt I was back home.

Entreat me not to leave you or to return from following you; for where you go i will go, and where you lodge I will lodge; your people shall be my people, and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there will I be buried. May the Lord do so to me and more also if even death parts me from you" (Ruth to Naomi, from the Bible 1:16-17)

The Devil wears Prada is this century’s "Mommy Dearest" absolutely brilliant outfits, fabulous Meryl Streep and Anne Hathway make it one of the must see movies of our time.

Recent college graduate meanders into the fashion industry and is engulfed by the high fashion and sassiness. She quickly learns that all of the fame and glamour comes with backfighting and back door deals. Girl gives up fashion to return to hetronormative middle america!

The only drawback in this briliant movie, is that it creates a dichotomy between "career vs perosnal life". Feminists through out the years have challenged such dichotomy.

Needless to say an absolutely fab movie

A battered rose sits on my desk
People have walked and stamped over it
I had to send my heart away to the ER
I walk around with a heart made of rubber and polymer
I often have to clean out my rubber heart, since blood collects on some of the valves

"You are a FUCKING BURDEN!"
" You are a pathological liar"
Bitter Twisted words from men who were once brothers!
"Have you been telling people I am HIV+?"
"You are lucky I did not call immigration on you"

Twisted words are always meant to hurt
Are you happy now?
Yes my heart is now made of rubber
Yes my brain is numb from shattered dreams and ideologies

White washed joys and sanitized TV dinners are my get aways

This is what you intended right?
To Tear apart another brown bother?
In my pain I remain numb!
I have forgotten I am alive
Do you remember that we flew kites and chased bugs once upon a time?
Do you remember teaching me how to cook Lamb curry?
Do you remember tears and bollywood over rum and Vodka?

Or those were just moments from within the Matrix
A single push of button..
magic…
that was just an illusion

I believe VIOLENCE is your middle name

I am raw with complex feelings and thoughts after having watched this film. This is a story of love both imagined and real, loss, intimacy, desire, sorrow, struggles and most importantly the sheer joy of falling in love and struggling to hold on to it. Both Ennis Del Mar and Jack Twist are two country CowBoys I would lust for and yet runaway from afraid of the racism and xenophobia that is intrinsic to the culture of white masculinities. Yet this story somehow conveyed to me universal themes of love, romance, tragedy. As a viewer I identified with different parts of the film.

It was so painful to see how homophobia and sexism along with masculinity can violenlty disrupt intimacies between two “men”, leave them unfulfilled, and wreck havoc in their lives. The film showed so many possible moments of resistance that “women” and “men” engage against patriarchy, sexism and militarism. The unsiad communications between Ennis DelMar and Jack Twist’s mother, Ennis’s wife divorcing him to remarry the man who might give her what she wants, Jack Twist driving 14hours to meet the man of his life every few months are all moments of resistance. So many of these characters reminded me of my “country hick” “mountain men” friends from central and midwest US.

I sobbed and sobbed as they would say such dialouges ” God Damn Ennis Del Mar why can’t i quit you?”
such haunting images of cowboys in love. It is common knowledge in India that men travelling to faar nmountains together fall in love and “fuck” each other. Who cares if they are gay? so many of the film critics are invested in saying oh this is not a gay film! well does it matter? gee how rigid has our gay movements become in North America. Queer Sexualities are expressed in multiple ways across cultures, regions and time.

For me this was a story of men who were stuck in incredible poverty, menial poorly paid labor, unhappy marriages, one married rich and struggled with rich inlaws, women with unfulfiliing husbands, loving daughters struggling to accomodate waywardly fathers. Such is the impact of systemic hetro-patriarchy!

All that Ennis DelMar is left with his lover’s shirt and his daaughters sweater! These are the men my white allies need to talk to! they will either have to join the army or work in factory farms. These are the people who will bear the brunt of globalization and US military within the US, these are the people who will be inducted into a racist project, because such are the laws of pain, lost love, you can then be manipulated to hurt others.

Brokeback mountain reminded me of my first boyfriend in India, will I ever see him before he dies? will I ever get to feel his loving touch ever again? or Dmex, another immigrant boy I loved, and all that remains after two yrs of building our house, iss some old clothes! The movie reminded me of Steven, my hot white daddy, who died few years ago, and I have no proof that this man had ran out in a snow storm to buy me my favorite chocolate bon bons and Czech beer. I only found out months later when i called his work, his coworker said “Are you a friend or a relative? Steven is no longer with us”

Silence

Tears

Love and joy

So I know this is usually a dead site, but I am sending this post to all sites I
am on.
Eversince I have been expressing my gender queerness, which is since I was born!
I have
ran into troubles with “bio boiz” and now since Creating Change I am totally
smitten by
quite a few “trans-men”, well as far as I am concerned they are more men than
anyone can
be!

So my bio boiz gangs are pretty offended! oh well sorry bio dick is just not
what I need
from my men! one of them even said “oh well no more real men eh!” “well hun if I
need
what u call a real man, I can hang from a sling in club Eros and I am happy,
cause I gt
bigeer and better” and I am done with bio boiz!

whetever is it only dick that makes a man!

I am so over this “artificial” definition of manhood.

I am genderqueer fagboi and transmen rock my world!
It bewilders me how transgression is powerful and to conceive it, feel it, become it is radical. In a world where our desire, sexual practices are tightly monitored and contorlled by radical fascists, trangressing boundaries has fucking radikal heat!

Catch me if you can!

The “gay rights” movement has rarely shared a table with the immigrant rights movement. Focused on the right to marry and rights of citizens, it leaves behind much needed coalition building between the movements.
By Debanuj Dasgupta
This piece originally appeared in Samar 20, published online September 15th, 2005.

On July 11th, 2005 in Tres Cantos, Spain, Emilio Menendez and Carlos Baturin walked out of town hall as the first proudly married gay couple of Spain. Earlier, on July 3rd, Spain passed a law that allowed same-sex marriages, bestowing on gay couples the same rights as heterosexuals, including adopting children and inheriting each other’s property. While this legal change in Spain is being celebrated as a landmark victory in the gay rights struggle, in a much less publicized event, the High Court of Justice in Spain’s Catalonia region decided on July 6th that citizens of other countries cannot marry a same-sex partner in Spain unless the other country allows same-sex marriage. The case involved a Spanish man and his Indian partner. The couple, Vipul Dutt, 33, and Enric Baucells, 45, may appeal to the Ministry of justice.

This contrast of victory and loss evinces the inequality perpetuated between “citizens” and “immigrants” within the “gay rights movement” in North America and most parts of Western Europe. The “gay rights movement” has been absent in the struggles of immigrants. In the United States, where I have spent the last ten years organizing around immigrant rights, Lesbian/Gay/Bisexual/Transgender (LGBT) and HIV/AIDS issues, the “gay rights movement” and immigrant rights movement have rarely shared the table with each other. As a result, both movements have severely suffered in developing a vision, larger base and political power.

The “gay rights movement” is largely dominated by an analysis that is rooted in the premises of citizenship and LGBT identity. LGBT movements demand equality for every citizen within the nation-state structure. Sadly, in the US, citizenship status is a site of major oppression and social control. Historically, citizenship was granted only to white men. The history of the US has been a history of struggle by women and communities of color to gain citizenship. Immigration laws in this country are based on the labor and military needs of the US. Immigrants are allowed legal entry whenever there is a need for labor, as evident in the Bracero Program, and are the first to be thrown out in economically hard times, as evident in the anti-immigrant laws that are now being passed. The US has been and is being built upon immigrant labor. Next time you get laundry done, or take a cab, or call moviefone for cinema tickets, ask for the country of origin for the person serving you!

The LGBT rights movement has been largely silent around anti-immigrant rights legislations that have recently passed, including the Real ID Act. Large national LGBT organizations are busy fighting for “gay marriage”—once again, a set of rights that is based upon citizenship status. In choosing to struggle for the rights of citizens, most LGBT organizations have alienated immigrants from the debate. This is a prime example of how the LGBT rights movement is a movement of privileged citizens of this nation. In centralizing the “right to marry” in its debate, the LGBT movement has failed to build bridges with the immigrant rights movement, which has long been fighting for the rights of immigrant families to reunite with each other. Almost as an afterthought, some “gay rights” organizations have advocated for the Permanent Partners Immigration Act (PPIA) that would allow LGBT citizens to sponsor their immigrant partners. The imagining of LGBT immigrants is limited only as partners of citizens.

The inherently anti-immigrant nature of the LGBT movement is further evidenced in the way dollars are being invested in this movement. While millions of dollars are being spent on “gay marriage” and organizations working around “gay marriage” have profited and grown, LGBT immigrant rights groups have struggled and often closed their doors.

The “gay rights movement ” is losing an ally by turning a deaf ear to the immigrant rights movement. LGBT people and immigrants are the most targeted by the right wing in this country. While immigrants are being framed as “terrorists” and “job stealers”, LGBT people are being painted as “immoral” and “sexual perverts.” The biggest message that immigrants give to the nation is “We are not terrorists! We are people seeking opportunities and a better life!” LGBT organizations need to learn how to ally themselves with the immigrant rights movement and organizations.

How can LGBT organizations be allies to immigrant rights movements?

Broaden your analysis: do not frame your message around “equality for all citizens,” frame it around equality and justice for all. Support legalization for all immigrants.
Get active in fighting anti-immigrant bills: LGBT people are immigrants too, are being detained and deported everyday. Spend staff time and programming budget on immigrant rights advocacy. Pair up with immigrant rights organizations to send out joint press statements.
Proactively fight for immigrant rights: support access to healthcare and voting rights for immigrants.
LGBT foundations need to support LGBT immigrant rights organizations.
For more information on current struggles for LGBT immigrants visit http://www.quir.org

Debanuj Dasgupta is a Steering Committee member of Queer Immigrant Rights Project and Co-coordinator of the National People of Color Organizing Institute. Debanuj can be reached at ddasgupta@quir.org

Do you believe in gay marriage? what a blaze question? it sounds almost like a chirstian missionary fighting for marriage rights, except with the word gay inserted in it. Or so would the left in the US make you beleive that gay marriage is part of a larger set of debates around “democratic right”

I say bullshit!

what does democratic rights mean in a country where large coporate interests run most governments? what would it mean for me to have yet another right in “words” and not actually enjoy it? I mean I have the right to free movement, don’t I? I am a regular english educated, upper middle class, “good ole Indian boy” i even wear mystical hindu costumes sometimes, and i still get stopped by highway parol, airforce security, routinely questioned why I am in the US? and what abut the thousands in detention?
I just wish one of these days one of the buffed uniformed airport security men take me aside and strip me, and baby oh yeah give me that pole!

My point being very simple just having a “constitution” does not mean people actually have it.

Having said that, I do want to be clear i do believe in committments, wedding ceremonies, ellaborate wedding ckaes. My wedding cake will be a 5 layer chcolate tiramisu, and all the men I will marry will be in leather gear, with huge dildoes strapped on them, some in army gear. My parents will be ina ttendance, and my nice ole aunt from Ohio, I am sure she could use a break from her mansion and husaband. It will be a cermenoy with dicks, dildoes, and fags gallore.

I believe that the right to form families is one of the basic human rights, and humans throughout history have formed families in multipe forms. This Christian fundamental notion of nuclear family is a bastrad child of late capitalism and heart less “christianity”. Now now, I can see my christian friends gong “oh u pagan mothafucka!” Darlings when I say “Chrisitian/ity” I mean the organized religion, that has been hijacked by men in drag in the Vatican who cannot deal with their own desire for men or their abuse in childhood.

I do not believe in gay marriage! there u have it in print! but i do believe in the right to define and form families. I believe in my right to unite with my parents and long lost lover from boyhood, who remain divided by large borders from me.

Till then
A dickfest is fine!
Yall are invited
DDG

I am an over trained social scientist. I remember in my sociological theory class professor Prasanta Ray (PR) saying “There is a dialectical relationship between social determinism and human freedom”, and as he would say such abstract concepts I would take upon the challenge of reading through these concepts, finding more abstract words and phrases, learning them, understanding complex social phenomenons such as relationalities, dialectics, social stasis and more. I would sit at the SSR library read Marx and Hegel, Durkheim, Garfunkel, Economic and Political Weekly, take notes and then sip chai at the Presidency College canteen, discussing with my fellow Sociology and Economics department students the modalities of social change.

Little did I know that I would get hijacked by my family in the US, my passport stolen by my aunt and forced to go to school in Akron. Little did I know that within a year of living in the US I would be canvassing poor communities with dirt raods and coal burning power plants, where door after door I would encounter female bodied beings with breast cancer, children with learning disabilites, male bodied beings with their arms slashed from machines. I would come back every night to my family’s monstrous mansion and relaize what social inequality really meant.

And now as I write this log, there are over 40,000 people dead between India and Pakistan, military has occupied Hurricane devastated deep south in the US, close to 1000 people dead in Gutemala! I just cannot take this anymore!

This is the begining of Antropology that breaks my heart! welcome Debanuj to your own heartbreaks, every word is a fragment of my heart, it is almost like my heart erupted, could not take it anymore. The burden of being an imigrant, queer, poor, of color, seeing the immense amounts of craziness that is in the world right now..and that night when he begged on his knees for us to separate after 2 years of lving together as “non-hetro-normative romantic primary friends”…

It all starts here…
ANTHROPOLOGY THAT BREAKS MY HEART or LACK OF A BETTER TITLE
I will always love you Shona
Debanuj